Growing up I always knew I wanted to have children, but when I visualised those children they were always girls. I always saw myself as a girl mum. I pictured frilly dresses, Barbie houses, pink bedrooms and dolly prams.
When I was pregnant with Theo and found out he was, in fact, a boy I was worried. I was worried that I wouldn’t relate to him, that I would struggle being a ‘boy Mum’, that I’d be missing out on something. However when he was born in 2012 I couldn’t have loved him any more. I didn’t find myself in the slightest bit disappointed and had no trouble relating to him at all!
For five years Theo has been my best friend. We’ve done almost everything together. My boy is gentle, sweet, funny and beautiful. We enjoy spending time together, we like the same things and I have never once found myself wishing that he was someone other than he is.
When I was pregnant with Noah and found out that he was also, in fact, a boy I didn’t for a second wish that he was anything else. I have such a lovely relationship with my first little boy, I couldn’t wait to begin a relationship with another. It seems however, that not everyone felt the same. I lost count of the number of times when someone asked me “Do you know what you’re having?” and I replied with “yes, another little boy” and I was met with such replies as “oh gosh, you’ll have your hands full with two boys“ or “will you be trying again for a girl?“. Sometimes it was just an attempt at a comical eye roll or a winced face. Every time it happened I would feel so upset that somehow, because this little baby wasn’t girl that he wasn’t as good as. This baby was my miracle how dare anyone think less of him.
Would I have liked to have a daughter? Of course I would. Would I trade either of my boys? Never. How many children we have, what their gender is, how they’ll look, is not in our control. I know so many people who have lost their beautiful babies, who never got to bring them home. Every baby is special, boy or girl and no one should never take away anyone’s happiness over the gender of their baby.
Now that Noah has been born my status as a boy Mum has been fully cemented. I won’t be having any more children, Noah is my little miracle and I’m so thankful for him. I have come to the conclusion that I will spend my life in a house filled with dinosaurs, tripping over toy cars, rolling my eyes at dirty rugby boots by the door, refilling the snacks disappearing from the kitchen and where farts will always be funny… but also with cuddles on the sofa, endless goodnight kisses, baking cakes, giggles at home movies and SO much love. I wouldn’t change a thing.